Posted by: Adam Deane | 22/05/2012

All hands on deck!

BPM PirateAll hands on deck! Get ready to sail! snarned the captain.
Hundreds cheered as the flag was hoisted.

Aye cap’n, all the men are ready replied Skippy.
Process analysts, developers, project manager, account manager, project sponsor – everyone ready captain!
A good start to the project. There must be hundreds here.

Ok! Set Sail! barked the captain.
Hundreds hurrily left the boat.

Shiver me timbers! yelled the captain. Where is everyone going?
It’s quite normal captain, replied Skippy. Most of them were here to enjoy the excitement of a new project. Many of them will work from their comfortable desks on the shore. There won’t be many that are actually going with us to sea.
Well blow me down! So how many are going to sail with us?
A dozen or so, replied Skippy.

The following morning the captain awoke to find half of his crew missing.
Status Report! yelled the captain to his second in command.

Most of the men jumped off the boat during the night replied Skippy. Some said that they had finished their analysis, some said that their allocated project days ended. Some were transferred to other ships.

Arrrrrggghhh! growled the captain.
They’ll be walkin the plank if I catch them!

The following morning the captain awoke to find just a handful of his crew left.
Where’s everyone! roared the captain.
They jumped off the boat during the night replied Jack. The sea has never been friendly to IT projects. At most it has been the accomplice of human restlessness.”

Scallywags!! growled the captain.
They’ll be walkin the plank if I catch them!

The following morning the captain awoke to himself alone.
Skippy! Skippy! Where are you!
A silence echoed though the ship.

Arrrrrggghhh! growled the captain.
At least now I can take off this eyepatch. It’s been itching me like hell.


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