Posted by: Adam Deane | 24/07/2012

The Process Olympics

The Process OlympicsLadies and Gentlemen!
The 2012 Olympic Process relay race is ready to begin!
In lane number one: Nesta Carter, Michael Frater, Yohan Blake and Usain Bolt

[the crowd cheers]

Bolt: C’mon guys, I haven’t eaten breakfast yet. Lets get this over with.. I’m starving..

Commentator: AND THERE’RE OFF!
What a fantastic start. The first runner sprinting ahead. What speed!

A brilliant display of power and determination by the first runner.
The vendor’s logo displayed brightly on the back of his shirt… What a great start!

As he gets to the end of the first part of the process, he passes the baton on to the next sprinter.
The second runner grabs the baton and sprints ahead. It’s looking good..

Commentator: Wait! .. something’s happening… The umpire has raised the yellow flag.

The second runner: What’s wrong?
Umpire: I need you to run sideways on this part of the process.
The second runner: What? .. Sideways? .. But that isn’t in the race spec!

Commentator: The umpire is talking to the coach. Both of them are returning to the starting line to discuss the changes.
It looks like the coach has given in and called the runners back to the starting line to run again.

Bolt: [groan..] C’mon, move it.. I’m starving here

Coach: Sorry guys, can’t argue with the umpire. Let’s run it again from the start.

Commentator: AND THERE’RE OFF!

The first runner sprints again, reaches the second runner. The second runner grabs the baton and dashes ahead sideways.
The umpire is happy.

As he gets to the end of the second part of the process, he passes the baton on to the third runner.

Bolt: C’mon, just pass me the baton so I can finish this race and go home and have some breakfast.

Commentator: But wait!… something is happening…. oh no! The umpire has raised the yellow flag again.

Coach: What’s wrong now?
Umpire: I’m having second thoughts…

Commentator: The umpire is talking to the coach. Both of them are returning to the starting line to discuss the process.

Bolt: [groan..] C’mon guys… I’m dying here…

Coach: Sorry guys, can’t argue with the umpire. Let’s run it again from the start.

Commentator: AND THERE’RE OFF!

The first runner is tired. He just walks over to the second runner.The second runner takes the baton again and walks sideways to the third runner.
They are losing a lot of time here, but at least the umpire is happy.

The third runner sprints off.
He has a tough job ahead of him. Integration. He needs to pass one half of the baton to the last runner. The second half of the baton needs to be passed to a runner in a completely different lane, from a completely different team.

Commentator: He has reached the integration point. Wait… oh no! It doesn’t fit.
They are wasting time again in trying to get it to fit. Nope! … It looks like the third runner is returning to the starting point to find a new baton for the integration.

[... years later ...]

Commentator: Ladies and Gentlemen. The third runner has finally managed to finish the integration and completed the third part of the process. All he needs to do is pass it on to the last runner… Bolt.

He is now running towards Bolt…

But Bolt is nowhere to be seen.
There’s just a skeleton lying in the track… Some people never learn…
ALWAYS EAT A FULL BREAKFAST BEFORE STARTING A BPM PROJECT


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