It was almost half past three o’clock, when Alice stumbled upon a blue door.
She could hear a lot of yelling on the other side.
Very quietly she opened the door…
Mad Hatter: A very merry ACM unbirthday to you!
March Hare: No.. a very merry ACM unbirthday to you!
Mad Hatter: Let’s congratulate with another cup of tea, a very merry ACM unbirthday to you!
March Hare: No.. a very merry unbirthday to you!
Suddenly the March Hare and the Mad Hatter looked up and saw Alice
March Hare & Mad Hatter: No room, no room, no room, no room, no room, no room!
Alice: But I thought there was plenty of room!
March Hare: Ah, but it’s very rude to sit down without being invited!
Mad Hatter: I say it’s rude. Its very very rude, indeed! Hah!
Dormouse: Very very very rude, indeed…
Alice looked at the Mad Hatter. The Mad Hatter looked at the March Hare. The March Hare looked at Alice.
The Dormouse didn’t have anyone to look at, so he counted his toes instead.
Alice: Oh, I’m very sorry, but I did hear you talking about ACM and I wondered if you could tell me…
March Hare: You know about ACM?
Mad Hatter: Oh, what a delightful child! Hah! I’m so excited, we never get compliments! You must have a cup of tea!
March Hare: Ah, yes indeed! The tea, you must have a cup of tea!
The Mad Hatter took a teapot out of his hat and poured it into a checkered cup.
Alice: That is very nice. I’m sorry I interrupted your birthday party… uh, thank you.
March Hare: It’s not a birthday. It’s an unbirthday. BPM celebrate one birthday every year.
Mad Hatter: Ahhh, but there are 364 ACM unbirthdays! Precisely why we’re gathered here to cheer!
Alice: Why, then today is my ACM unbirthday too!
March Hare: It is? What a small world this is. In that case… a very merry ACM unbirthday.
Everyone was looking very happy, except for the dormouse who was still trying to count his toes.
Alice: But why doesn’t ACM have a proper birthday.
Mad Hatter: Proper! Proper! Fiddlesticks. we don’t celebrate birthdays.
March Hare: (whispering) They can’t celebrate it, no one uses it.
The Mad Hatter poured all the tea into a cup. Then he put the dormouse into the empty tea pot.
Mad Hatter: ACM is used.. well.. at least, it should be used.
March Hare: Should’ve, would’ve, could’ve.
Mad Hatter: It’s a fantastic methodology.
March Hare: (nodding) It is a fantastic methodology… but no one is using it.
The dormouse was still in the tea pot having some trouble counting his toes. They seemed a bit sticky.
Alice: Of all the silly nonsense, How can you have a methodology that everyone likes, but no one is using. Surely if it was that good, it would have been adopted by the BPM, ECM and CRM vendors by now.
March Hare: Quite the opposite. Because it’s such a fantastic methodology, no one is adopting it.
Mad Hatter: Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m a schizophrenic and so am I.
March Hare: The ACM methodology has been around for years. If it goes midstream then no one will like it anymore.
Mad Hatter: There is only one birthday, but 364 unbirthdays.
March Hare: Exactly! Now blow the candle out, my dear and make a wish.
March Hare & Mad hatter: A very merry unbirthday to you!
Inside the teapot, the dormouse smiled. “Ten toes” he said to himself.
Just as I thought.