Posted by: Adam Deane | 19/12/2012

Twas the night before Christmas

Christmas‘Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the room,
everyone was saddened,
and feeling a bit gloom.

“The process is stuck!”,
They all called out in despair,
It’s the silly business rule
that someone put there.

It first needs to be approved by finance,
and then by one of the managers,
but no is approving it,
instead leaving it to others.

A task with multiple approvers will cause problems,
it was all plain to see.
but not of one wanted
to listen to me.

The IT manager, god bless him, probably snug in his bed,
whilst dreaming of unicorns dancing in his head.
“Any of the managers can approve it” he said with a cheer,
“I’m sure it will work – it’s perfectly clear!”.

So in this step of the process all the managers were included,
even though I told him he was somewhat deluded.
No need to worry, no need to tell,
He was so quite sure, that everything will go well.

But none of the managers opened the task although notifications were repeated,
and the step in the process was never completed.
“It’s not allocated to me” they said with a taunt,
“Not my responsibility”, now that’s just what we want!”

So up the stairs to the finance room I quickly then came,
and I cursed and I muttered and called them by name.
You need to make a decision who is responsible for the task claim,
but they just shuffled their feet and looked down in shame.

A quick clicking on my keyboard, and a movement of my mouse,
I changed the task’s allocation to the IT manager’s spouse.
I’m sure this will work, I said with a shrug,
“Happy Christmas to you all,” and I pulled out the plug.


Responses

  1. Very clever! But you actually make some great points in your poem. When no one takes the lead on a process than nothing ever actually changes. A large enterprise often passes the action item from manager to manager and no one knows who really has control.

  2. Dear Dean, please allow me to congratulate you on your poetry skills. That said, I noticed that I have the perfect solution for your protagonist here, so I hope you don’t mind that I’ve taken the liberty of coming up with my own end to your poem…

    …I hope you enjoy it and please do excuse some of the sloppy rhymes. Its been a loooong time for me.

    “…It first needs to be approved by finance,
    and then by one of the managers,
    but no is approving it,
    instead leaving it to others.

    A task with multiple approvers will cause problems,
    it was all plain to see.
    but not of one wanted
    to listen to me.

    The IT manager, god bless him, probably snug in his bed,
    whilst dreaming of unicorns dancing in his head.
    “Any of the managers can approve it” he said with a cheer,
    “I’m sure it will work – it’s perfectly clear!”

    Yet step by step the processes got deeper,
    Step by step the hurdles steeper,
    until one wandering thought in my head finally put our mystery – and IT manager – to bed.

    Roaming online at 4 in the morning,
    I stumbled on a website whilst sheepishly yawning,
    And there it was; the answer so clear!
    Displayed on my screen,
    Cue-in the unicorn cheer!

    A platform so advanced it can revolutionize tasks – for the finance head, the manager and the users,
    Trim all the fat and identify [performance] losers,

    A full solution,
    If you will,
    To all our company’s inefficiencies,
    CRM management – Oh, I had my fill!

    And so I set about constructing a workflow – task claims including,
    I shuffled,
    I dragged,
    ….and dropped,
    I cut and kept on improving,
    The financial manager was assigned a spot,
    Your task (I said to him) is simple; monitor the client’s statements and ensure regulation.

    But wait a second,
    What if the manager doesn’t approve this action,
    No problem, I can just label this gateway with a naught.

    Well what if the customer becomes sick,
    Or what if his information no longer sticks?
    No problem, the platform assured me again, it can all be fixed with a just few clicks.

    And just like that a partnership was set,
    Between myself and this company – what a load off my head!
    A fresh group of experts stood by my office door the next morning,
    And so I was able to go back to yawning.

    What a wonderful thing BPM can bring when enhanced by the right tool,
    What a wonderful thing indeed, Merry Christmas – Damn, this Appway thing is cool.”

    Any feedback would be thoroughly enjoyed.
    CK.


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