Article Published on April Fools Day
Washington, DC – Apr. 1, 2010 — In direct response to questions raised by Gartner, Google announced today that it will be acquiring the federal government of the United States of America for an undisclosed sum.
“We were looking for an organization with unstructured processes. The U.S federal government seemed like a good place to start.”
This will make Google the world’s biggest BPM vendor.
“It’s actually a logical extension of our planned growth”, said Google’s founder Larry Page, “It really is going to be a positive arrangement for everyone”.
Google representatives held a briefing in the oval office of the White House with U.S. President Barak Obama, and assured members of the press that changes will be “minimal”. The United States will be managed as a wholly owned division of Google.
The first phase of the implementation is planned for July of this year, and the federal government is expected to be profitable by “Q4 2010 at latest”, according to Google’s CFO.
In a related announcement, Barak Obama stated that he had enthusiastically started learning for his new role as VP Social BPM. “I’m in Twitter most of the day anyway”, he remarked. (http://twitter.com/BarackObama)
When asked if the rumored attendant acquisition of Gartner was proceeding, Google replied, “We don’t deny that this will make our life much easier getting onto the Gartner Magic Quadrant”. Google representatives closed the conference by stating that United States citizens will be able to expect lower taxes, increases in government services and better ability in finding stuff.
Founded in 1998, Google (NASDAQ “GOOG”) is the worldwide leader in search engines and gathering personal information. The company offers a wide range of products and services for public, business and personal use, each designed with the mission of collecting more personal information about us to take advantage of the full power of personal computing and free society every day.