BPM, BRMS, and Boris

I’d like to introduce you to the newest BPM Solution in the market: Boris 1.0

This is the most important development in the BPM industry in 2010.
Gartner will need to build a separate quadrant for this!

Forget the Lombardi acquisition, Forget the Savvion acquisition. This start-up will generate more revenue than both of them together.
Amazing! Simple to use! Cheap to run! No installations! No code!

I’m so excited. At last – A real solution for a real business problem.
This will totally change the market as we know it.

Boris – The ultimate solution for decision management

Decision management is a important problem for every organisation.
Yes, there are software solutions to help employees and managers make a informed decision, but can they physically make them take the decision? … No

You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.
That’s one of the biggest problems with BPM solutions in organisations. No one enforces the policies. No one is accountable. SLAs are not met – slap on the wrist.
The typical manager receives a task, all the information is in front of them. But still, they don’t take a decision

BRMS and Decision Management vendors have tried for years to overcome their biggest hurdle: People.
All of these software solutions are great, but what organisations actually need is Boris.

Boris is the ultimate solution for decision management.
It is the ultimate solution for any BPM product. It is a must in any organisation!
I believe organisations should be required by law to purchase Boris with every new BPM system.

Meet Boris.

Boris is not a what. Boris is a who.
A 7 foot tall 5 foot wide nightclub bouncer from east London.
He drives a taxi as his day job. He drove me the other day to the airport.

His job is simple. Every time a manager doesn’t make a decision, Boris comes over for a pep talk
“Hello Mr Robins” “You ain’t done your task”
“Having a hard time making your mind up?”
“Come with me to the basement and I’ll help you decide”
“You got medical insurance on you, gov?“
“You don’t want to make me angry, Do ya?”

I agree with you – an amazing start-up.
Everyone I’ve talked to agrees that it’s a brilliant idea.
One of the managers in an organization that I’m doing a project at has ordered two. One will go around the department thumping people at random, the other will thump department managers…

Everyone would love to have a Boris in the organization.
It removes bottlenecks. It enables initiatives to move forward.
It gets the job done…

I can see it now… “Adam Deane – Entrepreneur of the year”…. Obama meets with Adam Deane to discuss government efficiency… Forbes, Times, Fortune, The Economist… The Daily Mirror.

Yes, I realize that I might have a bit of legal problems with this solution…. (but that’s just technicality)

So, what do you think of the solution? Can’t make up your mind?
Wait a sec. I’ll call Boris…