Posted by: Adam Deane | 01/11/2010

ACM: Me love you long time

Hooker: Hey, baby, you got girlfriend in Vietnam?
Customer: Not just this minute.
Hooker: Well, baby, me so horny. Me so horny. Me love you long time.
Customer: What’s your name cutie?
Hooker: ACM, but my friends call me “Adaptive” You party?
Customer: Yeah, we might party. How much?
Hooker: Five dolla.
Customer: Are you sure, it sounds a bit cheap?
Hooker: Not cheap. That’s what it’s worth. five dolla. Me love you long time.
Customer: What do we get for the five dollars?
Hooker: Everything you want.
Customer: Everything?
Hooker: Everything.
Customer: Modelling, Execution, Optimisation, Simulation and Monitoring?
Hooker: More than that!
Customer: What do mean “more”?
Hooker: Dynamic processes, case management, unstructured processes, me so horny.
Customer: But, isn’t that ECM?
Hooker: No,no. me BPM. me super BPM, me the real deal
Customer: What do you have that regular BPM doesn’t have?
Hooker: Me more sexy, me unpredictable, me ad-hoc, me love you long time.
Customer: Why are you wearing a scarf in this hot weather?
Hooker: Me look pretty in scarf.
Customer: One sec.. what’s that bulge in your pants?
Hooker: No bulge. Me real BPM. Me no have bulge.
Customer: Ohhhhh disgusting!! You’re not BPM, you’re are LadyECM


  1. Adam, simply hilarious!

    And so true. ACM has the BPM bulge too and to most looks like an ECM because it shows off all the content bling-bling, but then it also does SM … hrm, I meant to say CRM.

    Thanks, Max

  2. […] I don’t agree with him, I admire his guts and openness to come out and say it. He also has hilarious ideas how to write about it. He also clearly defines himself as a BPM advocate when he says that I am […]

  3. Adam, really really funny. Love your work

  4. Would love to be so creative as you are Adam, loved it.

    • Thanks Freddie.
      I appreciate the kind words…


  5. Adam:

    That intro from Full Metal Jacket is fantastic. Anyway this post makes me remember the confusion inside people minds that IT marketing managers are causing. Today new concepts are resembled by older ones. We don’t have ACM? Lets introduce ECMACM and say that is ACM, … whatever.

    Thank you for stopping snake oil selling.

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