Posted by: Adam Deane | 24/01/2011

BPM Skills in the 23rd Century

BPM SkillsCaptain’s log. Stardate eighty-two-fifty point three.
The Starship Enterprise has been rebuilt and upgraded.
It now has a full BPM engine running it’s computers.
I have been assigned a new crew. Experienced pilots I expect.
Veterans of the fleet. The best of the best.
I’ll need them to control the new engine. It’s a powerful beast.

Cadet: Captain on the bridge.
Spock: Welcome captain.
Captain Kirk: Spock! What a wonderful surprise. I didn’t expect to see you here. Are you joining us?
Spock: Sorry captain. I’m only here to do a formal hand-over with the new crew.

Captain Kirk: Ah, that’s a pity. But I expect to see some familiar faces here. Where are the old timers?
Spock: I am the oldest member on-board captain.
Captain Kirk: What?
Spock: Cadets, sir. Just finished academy yesterday.

Captain Kirk: What? An inexperienced crew? I can’t go chasing after Romulans with an inexperienced crew.
Spock: The Starfleet Command thought it would be best, sir, “They will learn from your experience” was the quote they used.
Captain Kirk: Are they crazy? I can’t teach them experience. They have to learn it from their own mistakes.
Spock: Starfleet Command disagree, sir. They believe that experience can be taught on the job.

Captain Kirk: Mmm, Cadet! What is your name?
Cadet: Cadet Frank Spencer sir!
Captain Kirk: What is your knowledge about BPM engines.
Cadet: None sir! No skills are needed.

Spock: A very intriguing notion captain. Starfleet Command believe that BPM skills are not needed.
Captain Kirk : What?! Are they serious?
Spock: Starfleet Command believe that BPM engines in the 23rd century do not need people skills. It will run itself.
Captain Kirk : What rubbish! You can’t succeed without skills and experience.
Spock: Starfleet Command believe it is possible, captain.

Captain Kirk: Starfleet Command believe this. Starfleet Command believe that. Spock! Tell me – What do you believe?
Spock: I don’t think you’ll like my answer, captain.
Captain Kirk: Humour me. I need this project to succeed!
Spock: People cause projects to succeed, not technology. People need skills to make a BPM project succeed. The problem is that these skills come from experience…

Captain Kirk: So what are you saying Spock.
Spock: My calculations are quite clear, Captain. The chance of project success is null
Captain Kirk: You raised your doubts with Starfleet Command. What did they say?
Spock: They said they have “no doubts in your ability to pull it off”.
Captain Kirk: Mmm. Nice words. Do you think I stand a chance against the Romulans with an inexperienced crew?
Spock: As you humans say: Not a chance in hell. It’s been nice knowing you, captain.


  1. Adam,
    just wondering why you set this in the 23rd century…and everyone who thinks this is fiction and fantasy, please raise your hands.
    (Of course, this was clearly written before the engineers had installed the new BPMN 2.0 drive, the equivalent of the babel fish…or was it Marvin, the depressed robot?)

  2. Kirk: Scotty, put the BPM engines in full BPEL emulation mode.

    Scotty: I’m sorry, Cap’n, I kinna do that. We don’t have enough semantic crystals. The syntactic structure would not hold.

    Kirk: Well, do what you normally do — juryrig something.

    Scotty: Aye, I’m way ahead of you cap’n. I got the old workflow engines, and I have slapped on a BPMN converter. Wi’ some luck, that might get us through this economic crisis.

    Kirk: good work, Scotty! I need a warp 9 assessment of our current progress. Find all our inefficiencies.

    Scotty: Krikey! You never said anything about needin’ analytics! Why we are lucky to get basic worklists. Even just the email is on the blink.

    Kirk: Doomed, Scotty. We are doomed.

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