Posted by: Adam Deane | 04/07/2011

BPM for the 4th of July

BPM 4th of JulySo… the Gringos have a holiday today…

Independence Day, commonly known as the Fourth of July, is a holiday in the United States commemorating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776, declaring independence from Great Britain

Each country has its own culture, its stereotypes, the way they do business, the way they do BPM.
So, for America’s 4th of July I hereby present the way BPM is done around the world:

The British Way
Ladies and Gentlemen, I congratulate you on your hard work. I am pleased to say that after 5 hours of intense deliberation on the matter and after careful discussions and considerations we have finally come up with a name for the process.
Well done! Now lets go to the pub to celebrate.

The German Way
Ve must find a way to solve this issue, ya. Ve are innovative vorld leaders in so many different fields, car making, engineering, brewing, electronics and of course sausage guzzling. Ve must be able to create za perfect process design, ya. Virst, ve need to look into the philosophy of BPM, then za high level methodology, ya, then some more debate over philosophy. In a couple of years or so ve should have it perfect! Let us start to discuss dis furver over some Schnapps, ya!

The Australian Way
Look Mate! You’re worrying too much, Let it do it’s own thing, It will work itself out. I promise! Come over to my place. I’ll put the meat on the barby and grab a few cold ones from the fridge. I’ll invite some sheilas from the finance department and discuss the process. We’ll see where it goes from there…

The French Way
Oh la la… Impossible! What are we to do? This process is a very tough one… Mmmm… A really tough one… How do we make it look sophisticated, intelligent and superior, but without causing us to work any real work, eh? What are we to do?
Tough one… Lets us see what the English have done, and do the opposite

The American Way
OH MY GOD.. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG THAT IS FANTASTIC! I JUST LOVE THE WAY YOU HAVE JOINED THOSE TASKS TOGETHER IN A STRAIGHT LINE! BRILLIANT! ITS SO PRO-ACTIVE! WE ARE GOING TO MAKE MILLIONS OUT OF IT! YOU ARE SO SMART! ITS MIND BOGGLING! OMG OMG

Ok.. just teasing… Enjoy your holiday!


Responses

  1. Apparently Austria and Australia are not as far apart as I thought …

    But I think you caught on to an important element of getting BPM right that is clearly underrepresented in the methodology – a sufficient amount of ALCOHOL!

  2. Max,

    The “5 hours of intense deliberation” for the Brits will, of course, take place in the pub. Or, at least, that’s the location I prefer.

  3. Brilliant!

  4. I think we’re too much the land of plenty to believe we need to pay attention to silly ‘ole business process.


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