Posted by: Adam Deane | 06/02/2012

Business Process Outsourcing

OutsourcingI do not like it, said the Queen.
One does not like it one bit, she said angrily, pacing up and down the chamber floor.

But, Your Majesty… it is the peoples’ request, answered the Prime Minister.
Peoples’ request indeed, retorted the Queen. You know I don’t like flying!

But, Your Highness… it comes with the job, fumbled the Prime Minister.

The Queen wasn’t impressed. Comes with the job indeed!, she said, annoyed.
No one told me anything about flying. One was happy to be just Queen of England, but oh no, someone decided one needed to the Queen of all the British Empire.
Why couldn’t they have a Queen for each country? Why can’t one delegate her tasks?

It’s called Outsourcing, Ma’am. It was agreed that it was in everybody’s best interests to have all monarchy processes done in the back office in London.
Outsourcing! Fiddlesticks. What is it good for? she grumbled.

Your Majesty… explained the Prime Minister, Outsourcing enables us to contract all of the operations and responsibilities of specific business functions to a third-party service provider. In this case – You.

BPO contributes to the empire’s flexibility and enables the colonies to focus on their core competencies, without being burdened by the demands of bureaucratic restraints.The public are herewith released from performing non-core or administrative processes and can invest more time and energy in building the empire’s core businesses.

Yes, Yes.. said the queen, but why does one need to fly out to these regions?
One does not like flying. Cannot one’s duties be completed from here?
Communication is key, answered the Prime Minister calmly.

For hours the prime minister explained and explained the merits of outsourcing.

As the clock struck four, the royal butler entered with the evening tea.
Will that be all Maa’m, asked the butler quietly.

Good evening Edward, replied the Queen. An interesting evening I must say. The prime minister was explaining the reasons for outsourcing, and due to that, the reasons why one will need to fly abroad for the Diamond Jubilee celebrations.

It was quite an interesting evening, she smiled…

The prime minister smiled as well. Glad to be of service your majesty, he said. I will bid you a good evening. The prime minister bowed and collected his hat.

Edward, said the Queen.
Yes Ma’am.

Kindly escort the prime minister to the door and ask him to tell you about outsourcing.
Yes Ma’am.

And Edward, said the Queen quietly.
Yes Ma’am.

Please remove the prime minister’s head on the way out…

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