Posted by: Adam Deane | 27/06/2011

Harry Potter and the Broken Process

Harry PotterHARRY: We have to see Professor Dumbledore, immediately!
HAGRID: I’m afraid Professor Dumbledore is not here. He received an urgent owl from the Ministry of Magic and gone back to Hogwarts.

HERMIONE: Oh no! We must warn him before it’s too late!
HARRY: Lets run through the dark forest, it’s faster.
RON: Absolutely not! I’m afraid of the forest.
HERMIONE: RON! This is no time to be afraid. We must warn Professor Dumbledore, or Hogwarts will cease to exist. We must go now!
RON: I don’t like this at all!

NARRATOR: Harry, Ron and Hermione run through the dark forest. They get to a door at the end of the forest. Harry grabs the handle, but it’s locked.

RON: That’s it, we’re done for!
HERMIONE: Oh, move over! [She pulls out her wand] Alohomora!! [The door opens]
RON: Alohomora?
HERMIONE: Standard book of spells, Chapter 7. Don’t you every read the manual?
RON: Never!
HARRY: Quickly! A tunnel. No time to lose. Let’s go!

NARRATOR: Harry, Ron and Hermione run through the tunnel.
Little do they know they are being watched by the forces of darkness.

RON: I can’t see a thing!
HERMIONE: Lumos! [Creates light at wand tip] Ah, that’s better.
HARRY: The exit is through here. Quickly! [Opens the door]

[A huge three headed dog runs toward them. Hermione screams and drops her wand]

three headed dog

HARRY: Ron! Use the book of spells!
RON: [looking through the book of spells] I found it! Impedimenta!!
[The three headed dog slows down, but continues to come closer]
HARRY: That’s the old spell. Look for the new version.
RON: These spell books are useless. you can never find the spell you need, when you need it.
HARRY: Quickly Ron! It’s coming closer!
RON: Found it! Immobulus! [The three headed dog freezes]
HERMIONE: Well done. What took you so long?
RON: I’ve never done that before? Actually looking up a spell in the book of spells? Who reads instructions nowadays?

NARRATOR: They all run into Professor Dumbledore’s chambers.

[Harry, Hermione and Ron look at each other in disbelief] .

NARRATOR: I said “They all run into Professor Dumbledore’s chambers.”

HARRY: I don’t care what you said. How can we be in Professor Dumbledore’s chambers if we haven’t reached the end of the tunnel!

NARRATOR: I don’t know. I’m just reading the script.

HERMIONE: Well, your script is not up to date. Which version are you reading from?

NARRATOR: I’ve only got the first version. Is there another one?

HARRY: We made changes to the story process last week –
Hagrid’s House, Forest, Tunnel, Three-headed dog, Professor Dumbledore’s chambers.

NARRATOR: Mine says Hagrid’s House, Forest, Tunnel, Dumbledore’s chambers.
I’m missing a step in the process.

HARRY: How can we work like this!! Ron can’t find the correct spell in the documentation, and the narrator’s script is not in sync with the real process.
This is impossible!! I feel like I’m working with bloody amateurs!

RON: It is hard finding the correct spell under pressure. These books of spells are not very user friendly, you know!

NARRATOR: How dare you call me an amateur. I have the design script. You need to abide by my documented process design, not the other way around!

HARRY: No we don’t! The actions in the field dictate the process, not some high level design. Anyway, we tried uploading the execution changes back into the design script but couldn’t. You don’t support roundtripping!

NARRATOR: I am calling the shots here, not you. Get into Professor Dumbledore’s chambers now before I “Obliviate” you all!

[Harry, Hermione and Ron look at each other, then point their wands at the Narrator and shout together]

Gartner Leviosa!! Gartner Leviosa


Responses

  1. Excellent. You are wasted working for a software vendor.

    This fits neatly with my blog Harry Potter and the Leap of Faith http://bit.ly/kFv7EP which talks about BPM ROI

  2. […] a era when even the last defender of the written word, J.K.Rowling, has brought Harry Potter into the digital world with her magical Pottermore, In an era where ebooks are adding search and […]

  3. Brilliant as usual. Now I am imagining Hermione scribbling up BPMN diagram as they are running through the tunnel, describing the act of running through the tunnel, including a branch gateway node at the end. These characters all have such impressive skill, but conquering BPMN to describe what they are doing seems TOO improbable. Even the most imaginative fiction needs to maintain a semblance of reality.

    However, I could imagine these characters making a checklist….
    http://social-biz.org/2010/03/08/is-the-checklist-mightier-than-the-model/


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